love in loneliness

You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what he'd want:smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.

last day

I hate all the last days. now me in the abexome and its my last day here. i at times think i shouldn't be close with people because when you separate it can't be explained. i never thought people here will like me. the party they gave for me was awesome. am i worth their tears? i dunno, but i don wanna cry.i don wanna see them crying. they are too good. i pray god to shower all the good fortunes to them in all the days ahead. i really gonna miss them a lot......... i'm happy that i was able make them all laugh a little( i think so). if i do have hurt them in anyway i'm sorry.the food court wow. i have never had such lunches in my past. thanks to you all for making my days most memorable.oh God i dunno how to express my feelings. i hope all feelings should be felt and not described.i can feel how bad they also feel . i can understand. please God don make them cry. i don wanna see them crying. and God gimme strength to face them too.

my gaffe

i never know that i hurt people when i tease them. my friends usually enjoy them. they also join in even to tease themselves. my head most incident happened some 4 days back. when one of my friend told that he gets hurt when i tease him. for the premier time in my life some one has said that i hurt them bad. i really feel sorry about that. i try to stop teasing others but i cant. i think its in my own blood. i can try for a blood transfusion. (ha ha he ehe). never i know it will be this serious. i ask sorry from the bottom of my heart to him. its really bad to dig the horrible past of your friend. actually i dunno him entirely. he never shares anything to me. then how can i find whats in him. friend do help me in molding me to be a better human in this world. i don wanna continue this same mistake else where. je ressens pour mon erreur. after all to err is man, so i made a mistake. that proves me a human. any way i din mean it to hurt that person. i think its time to stop my kidding job. let me be matured ,which is real hard for me.

save tiger

after a month i went to home for my GATE (so called exam) exam. I did not prepare for that exam well because i least had time and i never got mood to learn anything in Bangalore. please don expect that im gonna say a word about my exam, i wont.so i was watching tv as usual at home, when i saw the add save tigers. i really felt bad when they said that we have only 1148 tigers in our country now. that really bad. i wanted to share it with you all friends. when we were kids i remember seeing tigers in zoo and national parks but now its become a rare sight to see a tiger in national parks too. people say that if you are lucky you will be able to see a tiger in a visit to park. its not the matter of luck to us. it really means that its a very bad luck for those tigers . so please friends try to save them and promote this to all for the welfare of the tigers and to maintain the biodiversity of the land. come man its our national animal. do not put a situation that our future generation will see them only in museums. LIVE AND LET OTHERS ALSO LIVE... hope the future of the tigers will be bright.

our lunch time

actually i like the lunch time in my office. even in the tight schedule we do really play. as you all know I'm much interested in pulling others legs i do it here too. i tease my office mates a lot that they run on seeing me. here comes the story. names are changed as per the request of them. there is a guy called Mr.G in my office. he has a gal friend that even the gal friend doesn't know about it. we used to tease him jolly well. but the Mr.G has two gal friends. that's the twist in the story. and there is another guy who volunteered himself to be a villain in this story.i really dunno who this villain is behind but he is very much interested to be a part of this story. here comes another gal ,that's friend of the heroin. she has a boy friend in the apartments next to our office. but that lover died because the gal was bite by a mice in our lab. im really feeling bad for that mice. then she became a mice woman and is fighting against the evil.anyway its a happy ending not only for the hero but also for the villain coz there are two gals in the movie. as all Indian movie the villain will turn good so i can spare him a gal in the movie...thus the end of the story. happily ever after..................

i think those ppl are gonna kill me on reading this. anyway do not take it serious, all the above story is imaginary not real. its made for fun and nothing is to hurt anybody. if it does im really sorry for that. hope you all enjoyed the movie. i thank you all for making every day here in abexome a memorable one. hope you ppl won forget me so soon for what i have done now.

my first solar eclipse

hey for the first time in my life i saw solar eclipse today in my office in bangalore. it was awesome to see it really. i saw through x-ray films. i saw the crescent shape of sun. remaining was hidden by the moon that comes in between the sun and the earth. i even tried to take a picture about it but i couldn't get it yar. so sorry i couldn't add the picture of that. i can never forget this in my life because every first thing in life will never fade from our memory. i went up to the terrace along with vanitha. everybody else has already seen but we were busy with our PCR work so couldn't join my friends. we took 2 X-ray sheet and first she saw it and gave it to me. i took it in hand and looked through it. marvelous man, i saw golden yellow crescent and a very dark big moon. the golden crescent , the sun was looking so good. i wanted to watch all the day but i have to get down to my floor else i will be moved out of the office permanently. so i came back. I'm feeling really hungry now. we are not suppose to eat during this eclipse because the food easily get contaminated as the sun's rays are not too strong today. so i had breakfast with vanitha. she has brought chappati which myself and rajesh had together. it was around 10 in the morning and i can have food only after taking bath in the evening but i can't bare the hunger till that so i will have food by 4 (hopefully).this is my day which i can always look back whenever i hear about eclipse.

the picture above was not taken by me. but i saw a similar one today

my new year celebration

yesterday was a happy new year to all. it started well for me too. i was talking with my mom and with Ram at 12 then dozed off at 12.45. then as i had work in office i came and was doing my working hoping to get a positive result at least on new year. we inoculated the colonies and supriya left by 12.00 and i was with our Dr. Magudi, chatting along. then dinesh came and we continued the work. we did colony PCR and again we were chatting about our school life and college life. then we found that all were negative result. i don know what to do. i seriously prayed on new year not for me but for that bacteria, yet i din get even a single positive colony. one other big mistake that i still regret doing is that i threw the colony plates to wash room, thank heavens as yesterday was a holiday and no wash boys were there to wash off the plates so that Dinesh was able to collect some more colonies and inoculate it after i left the place. i couldn't sleep well last night, i seriously dunno why. i have done too bad in this past 2 week training. praying my training shouldn't be as worst as it was so for. God please make me think before i act or at least make me ask some one before i do anything. friends do pray for me......

at abexome

after long time im writing blog again. im here at my first office of my life. my office s entirely different of wat i thought. people play , have a hell lot of fun during work hours and im lucky to a part of this group. nobody ll get a Chance to work with such a good gang. actually 2day a famous kannata actor died, ( sorry i don remember his name).so its a strike here yet im busy in my office (don look me tat way, i came to ve milk). im loving this place really. i got lot of friends here. and they are too good to me. 1st day i spilled milk all over me. the next day tea over supriya (who is also a trainee like me bt my senior) then the next day i threw protein sample( unintentionally). life goes well in my office but i get bored at my room. i have never talked with my roommate for more than a 10 mins. guys but she looks too good. i feel it bit difficult to get up early in the morning (as u all knw im a big lazy) but i feel better to be at office than to be in the room all alone. now im njoying the new year at office. but i really miss my family now. now i think im able to be independent. life keeps changing and all the changes that last year brought were good. hoping this year to be much better than 2009. you know i work till 7 or 6.30 every evening that coz we start all the main work only after lunch. and that drags the day. but this makes me spend less time at my room so i don feel much isolated. i miss u madurai. ll come to you soon and be there............

placement

as you all know im at the edge of my college life. everybody here is busy with placement preparation.... every body is busy with their preparation. but i don have mood to learn them. its to test your capability not your memorizing capacity. so let me try of wat i know. i nowadays hate my room. people here are always learning. their heads are always under the covers of Barron's GRE or with RS.Aggarwal. the most happiest place now look like a deserted island. nobody is free except me. i think im gonna abase in my performance. people may think im aberrant.. but its them according to me (HeHe). God please do save them from not reaching asylum. just said what i thought. i don want to be backhanded. but i really want my friends to get placed coz they all work too hard. god please give them their reward.

as all i do have faint hope of being selected in TCS yet i know nothing even about C. let me be always optimistic of whatever is happening is happening coz its suppose to happen like that. there is a saying called "YESTERDAY IS A HISTORY, TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY BUT TODAY IS A GIFT HENCE IT IS CALLED PRESENT," said by master OOGWAY. people who are fans of kung fu panda will know who the master is. i know im just ridiculous. k im stopping my blabbering right here.

Now people have become aware of their communicative skills. they have started to converse in English now. the same people used to kindle me when i used to talk in English in 1st year. the pathetic condition is that i lost my fluency in that language. i really really feel so bad about that. i working hard on it even though i know its too late. but its always better to be late than to be never. but at times i feel bad or being so idle like this. so im gonna do something useful,(but dunno wats that)

my sem preparation

this night I'm trying to learn something for my sem practicals, yet i don ve any mood to do it. actually its my analytical exam. praying it should be easy 2mrw. i don know why im like this. bcoz i ve never been like this so far. i used to learn somehow but today im in no mood for learning, yet there is a huge gang of ppl around me learning sincerely. god how are they so sincere like this. actually im dreaming about my project days at bangalore. i think this is a side effect of overloading. ya i ate toooooo much of snacks that i even Skipped my dinner. i wanna put on weight. can anyone gimme some tips to put on weight.

now i ve to go for discussion which really makes me sick. i don wanna do it.yet i ve to go. else ppl ll say im a head weight. i dunno how they compare this to that. so going to that hell where i ll be ignored for sure coz some like divya ll over dominate (not jus dominate, a million times more than that) all the rest. and i ll sit with the rest of ignored ones.

My circle of ppl who really made me the worst by making me depend on them -part II

here i would like to mention about all other people. the other person who cares a lot is my Nagendra Anna. this doesn't mean that other people don care about me. as i don have much space to write about all my Annas i would just mention their names. and annas please don mistake your little sister. i know you won because you know me much better. my dear Annas are C.R, mano, velu, anand, arun, vijay, karthik, sid............ the list goes on.

i call these people as those who made me worst is because they never scold me for anything even how stupid i behave. they like me for Wat I'm. they never allow me to grow. and for people who want me to grow and change my character please scold them because they are responsible for what i am. yet i love them all because they all care a lot for me. they moulded me from kid and still they mould me thinking I'm still kid. annas i have grown up for your information.

My circle of ppl who really made me the worst by making me depend on them

i should mention about them here. because they are the ones who made me to be the best .yet they din teach me how i should be independent. they are my brothers. actually i have only one bro of mine that's parthi,,. yet i earned a lot of them. i cant write all their names here because it ll take the whole blog then. i should mention about santhosh here. he was my first little Anna who cared for me a lot. he scolds me for the way i dress. he has a good dressing sense which i should learn it from him. he a sweet bro whom i ll never forget in my life.

Next comes my Ravi anna. i don know him for a long time yet in this short span i was admired by the way the couple move. they are really made for each other. even ram likes them a lot. and they also cal him as a Sweet, good boy. but one thing i hate is that they are not making me an aunt. please anna make me an aunt soon. they both take things lite which is something great for a person like me.

the rest come next...............

gamming

at last i to started playing games in PC. here we are a gang including me, shobi and hems. as we have free WI-FI in our hostel we download a lot of games. we are lovers of hidden objects. u really need brains to solve them. (don ask me the question then why i am playing it) our favorite web site is myplaycity , bigfish, etc. we play all 24*7. i really dunno how time passes if we sit in the PC and start playing. i now understand guys why they are addicted to it. this has made me a damn lazy goose now a days. i don do any work until I'm fired.this illegal room is one heaven place that has made my life beautiful. i'm trying hard to not become an addict yet cant resist.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

the circle grows

now i should mention some more in my list.
this is about my college , real sucking place for me. I learnt Wat life is and what ppl really are only here. At first everybody seemed to be good. hostel made me feel how much a family means to a kid. being independent wasn't much fun actually yet i see ppl enjoying it and wanting for more. that's anu , the one i really like much in this class. she is a genius. the way she does the conversion is amazing. the way she takes things is hard for me to digest. she is such an easy doer. i really love you so much for wat you are.

Now coming to my roommates(illegal) hema, barathi, senthu, yazh and aish. its called illegal coz i don belong to their room yet i stay thr if im at hostel. this final year is the one i started enjoying. so far i was complaining its dark by closing my eyes. now i ve opened it wide. one greatest news is that i got a project finally at b'lore. so ppl i gonna miss you all for a semester. ppl please stay in contact where ever you go. let our circle be always around us all.

my best pal

I apologies 4 not writing abt these ppl so far in my blog. they are the blessings of shower on me from above. the 1st one to come on hearing the word friends is my MOM. yup, she s my best friend. i love sharing all craps with her.I bet no kid in this world ll get a mom as mine. i love you so much mom. yet i ve lied to you a lot mom. that pricks me mom. The most inspiring person in this world is you mom. i m lucky to ve you mom. I wasn't close with other ppl in my class during schooling, may i din want friends coz my mom played the most part as my friend. i nvr wanted a friend till my high school.

my circle started to grow only at my junior college wen i made lots of friends that i really felt wat friends mean in this world. here my best pals are shiny ( one angel sent frm heaven is she), santhosh, ram, annapoorna anjana and the list goes on. sorry pals if i ve not mentioned your names here yet you all remain in ma heart. We had a lot of combined studies which i ll nvr forget in my life. this was my most pleasant episode of my life. i cried only for marks. how stupid it is, i realise it now. the sleep overs are the most cherished memory of all. i really miss those days my friends. yet we stay in touch and hope it would last for our lifetime.

Hakuna Matata

wish you all HAKUNA MATATA. it means no worry. i like this song from lion king, one of my favorite movie (ppl check it out, its worth watching). Why to we wanna worry. we people are real fool. we take silly things to head, hunt about it and miss to see the beauty before us. even i was worrying. last night i was thinking about how life will be after some 5 years. This thought came to me coz i was talking with my friend Ramya about job opportunity in my field. To be frank i admit that i will be a good housewife by the time of 5 years. That's the scope of B.TECH BIOTECHNOLOGY. I really feel bad about this. this is why our country is still a developing one even with all man power that rules the rest of the world but under covers. I don wanna let it happen to me. I wanna do higher studies. I wanna do something that will make not the whole world at least a few to turn and look at me. I don wanna be independent which may sound to be a comedy. It feels like heaven when there is someone beside you, taking you in all walks of your life.Yet i have to be independent at some point of my life. Why cant life be as they show in cartoon "HAPPILY EVER AFTER". but if there is no sorrow you won enjoy the real feel of joy. so lets take life as it comes. "IF THE WHOLE WORLD TURNS ITS BACK ON YOU , YOU SHOW YOUR BACK TO THE WORLD". So now i made a mind not to complain about others fault i see in them. Nobody is perfect. Accept the things that cannot be changed and change the things that cannot be accepted. Don ask what if both happens to a same thing. Before taking revenge on someone think how it will hurt you if somebody else does it to you. most of the problems are solved if you think for a minute when you are angry. so lets do this HAKUNA MATATA for the rest of our life.

my longest scrap

As i said already, only certain people can influence u. The other one s my Biochemistry mam. She influenced me to scrap paper during her class. actually i like her a lot. not just me alone almost all my department mates ll like her. a kind, caring lect. We call her flower out of love tat we ve on her (damn serious pa). But i hardly listen her class. This s wat i did during her classes in second semester.

perching between my friends in the class;
Trying to get something in Biochem class;
Oh God! Everything is Greek and Latin here;
Am i in Biochem class or elsewhere;
After a long fight, gave up the idea of listening class;
Declared its hard to get anything out of this class;
started to think "how to waste the whole of 2 hours";
squeezed my mind to get an answer to this question;
Listening class itself is a big waste says my mind naughtily;
goggled at her in amazement, how she mugged all these;
My thoughts went through my school life;
where we prattle in the last bench under the book covers;
Sometimes we never mind the staffs;
at times, turning the class a play ground even;
Really stupefied to see people take notes;
i do pity the first bench , for what i Can all do;
But here , Im in second row (on those days alone not now), right under her nose;
I wanted to do what i used to do in schooling;
but something stops me from being myself;
I wanted to follow the great movement "QUIT INDIA";
Which for us is always "QUIT CLASSES";
Dropped it as I lost my guts being female;
I need to stay there doing nothing ;
I peeped out of the class but to find only leaves and branches;
Even they are cursed not to move in our campus;
Oh GOD! why the hell we need to learn;
After a nice hair shower , I felt sleepy;
For the lullaby of my mam, half sleepily;
At last i scrap these papers.........

this s how s waste my classes, yet i like them coz i enter a new world. Studies is not all that life s for. so keep enjoying the life as it comes.

My Advent

It is not just holiday but my rebirth;
Sitting in the center bordered by my friends;
They are not just friends, my happiness, my life;
prattling and laughing with watering eyes;
My right as a citizen, "The freedom of speech", once again acquired;
Oh God, all 24 hours not enough to enjoy;
Even the most lovable sleeping turned disgusting;
All our souls, after a long time, merged with each other;
It was not only myself, but everyone wanted back those GOLDEN SCHOOL DAYS;
Every second we laughed and snickered;
Well fed by my mom , my tummy grows;
But came Jan 2nd to destroy all my delusions;
I cried, I pleaded to my parents, all in vain;
Knapsack ed the bag with tears in my eyes;
Glimpsed at my dad but my wish was deprived;
I have to leave, leave my family. my friends, my life;
Retreating my soul there, my body alone;
Carrying a heavy luggage including my mother's love;
Moving in the bus in one corner heavy heartily;
heading to hostel, Once again Im MUMMIFIED!!!!!!!!!!!


This was my first writing tat i did in my first year of ma college. i started writing such craps on seeing Nithya, one of my best pals whom i really miss very much in CBE. She was with me for just an year. yet influenced me a lot. i like the way she looks at things.I really miss u NITHYA.. We learn, read, watch a lot yet only some people can influence us, and she s one of the kind.

GALS vs GALS (100% true)

There goes a famous saying " A worst enemy to a girl is a girl" . And my college gals prove them strongly ( not all). I never accept this in my schooling but here now in college i don deny it. coz i ve had lots of experience here in my college. i think people are blessed if they can find good friends in all stages of life. And the most gifted are those who get the same friends in all stages of their life. Appearance are always deceptive like gals. The look good (not the looks) and move well in front of u. but are actually not. They act innocent even wen they know things (push , do u get wat i mean). y do ppl wanna pretend to be innocent. I had the worst xperience in my 3rd year (VI semester). Those gals ditched me frm back, coward. I even defended for their mistakes. anyway it teaches me a good lesson that not to believe ppl at the very sight.
FOR THE GUYS: All the above s false for u.U ll never find a better friend with so much love, care and understanding. They mould u, bring out ur hidden talents. They change ur life frm a dark shadow to a brighter sun shine. u can trust them to ur life.
I don blame all the gals under this sun. There is moon among stars. yes i mean my pals. They r the best. I bet u. They r different not deceptive. i think tats y v r isolated in the class. We don pretend to be good, coz its a universal truth.(ha ha ha). i feel ashamed to post it bt i do coz i care for ppl. Those who read this beware of this sex. I wanna kick the ass of the ppl who ditched me. i feel better after post it :).

missing days

My heart drowned in the sands of loneliness;
Darkness engulfing me frm all the directions;
searching for help in desperate , i sat alone;
coldness penetrating my soul in this damn nite;
a ray of love dawned with its hands embracing me;
burning care gave its warmth to my soul;
the affection lightened my kingdom with joy;
sadness cloud passed away from ma sky;
showering happiness from above over me;
life bloomed in everything im made of;
all the happiness in this world belongs to me;
yet it stands away winking at me;
for me to posses it one day all for myself;
and for the rest of my life;
awaiting that day eagerly and counting on every second;
to hear the voice i love;
standing on the other side of the shore; i wait for your call...
to my beloved one